Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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