A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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