More tranny stories later!
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
