You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
