I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
