Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
