You really coming over, don't trick.
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
