therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
smell my finger.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
