11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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