More tranny stories later!
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
