Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
