Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
