Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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