Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
