Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
