did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
