Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Randomize
