Don't you send me to vm
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Randomize
