oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
i am craving dick and cupcakes
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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