We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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