I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Randomize
