Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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