I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize
