We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
