so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
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