just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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