I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
