I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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