wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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