I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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