Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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