Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
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