i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
