i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
I did not marry a roomba.
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