I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Randomize
