I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Randomize
