Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
