i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
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Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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