so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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