Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
