Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
this just has baby written all over it
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize
