Are we in a gay sports bar?
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
