Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
My vagina is very pro this idea
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
