it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
