you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
