Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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