Define "chronic" masturbator.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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