Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
