it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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