Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
