it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
