Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
