I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
