no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
