you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
