i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
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