Can i not drive my cunt home
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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