I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
