We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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