I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Who wears a wallet chain?!
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
