i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
