Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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