my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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